mama, i love you!

petang tadi, aku bukak ym. borak2 dengan si nadhrah pasal exam praktikal semalam. alhamdulillah, dapat tiupan semangat daripada beliau untuk terus berusaha menggapai kejayaan selagi masih ada masa. terima kasih, kakakku! :) sebelum sempat aku offline untuk sambung baca buku praktikal biochem konon nye la kan~, dapat satu mass message daripada si ina tentang seorang sahabat sekuliah kami yang kehilangan ibunya malam semalam.

tercengang aku.

terus aku online facebook, cari profile page dia dan ucapkan takziah atas kehilangan beliau. sepanjang petang tadi, aku terfikirkan keadaan si dia. bagaimana agaknya dia? sudahlah sekarang ini merupakan musim kemuncak di mana satu kesalahan kecil pun boleh mengundang rasa stress yang melampau, ditambah pula dengan ujian berat sebegini. ujian yang cukup hebat sehingga mampu melemahkan semangat yang sebelum ini berkobar2 untuk menghadapi final exams di akhir jun nanti.

i tried picturing myself in his shoes and i simply cannot imagine what i would do if i were to be the one to receive such devastating news. would i book the next available flight ticket and demand to go back home despite the fact that i'm having my practical exams now? cry endlessly until my eyes go red? throw a childish tantrum? or retreat into a severe depression and isolate myself from the society?

it might seem exaggerated but i do not doubt any of the above possibilities if i were to lose my mother or any members of my family during these hard times.

sungguh, Allah takkan uji seseorang itu jika dia tak mampu nak hadapi ujian tersebut. [1:286]

nota kaki 1: kepada sahabatku, semoga Allah kurniakan kau ketabahan dan kekuatan.

nota kaki 2: mother dearest, i love you very, very much and i shall spend the rest of my life saying and proving that to you.

she used to be my only enemy and never let me free,
catching me in places that know i shouldn't be,
every other day i crossed the line,
i didn't mean to be so bad,
i never thought you would
become the friend i never had

back then i didn't know why,
why you were misunderstood,
so now i see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,
mama i love you, mama i care,
mama i love you, mama my friend,
my friend

i didn't want to hear it then but
i'm not ashamed to say it now,
every little thing you said and did was right for me,
i had a lot of time to think about,
about the way i used to be,
never had a sense of my responsibility.

back then i didn't know why,
why you were misunderstood,
so now i see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,
mama i love you, mama i care,
mama i love you, mama my friend,
my friend

mama i love you, mama i care,
mama i love you, mama my friend,
you're my friend~